Fortunately, the “asshole or incompetent” thing is a false dichotomy: you don’t have to choose between those two extremes. Time and again, I have seen that **it was kinder in the long run to be direct, even if articulating my criticism caused some momentary upset.** (“It’s not mean, it’s clear!”) Furthermore, it’s the fear of being labeled a jerk that pushes many people toward Manipulative Insincerity or Ruinous Empathy—both of which are actually worse for their colleagues than Obnoxious Aggression, as we’ll see in later sections. --- **Tags** — [[quotes]] , [[challenging-others]] , [[culture]], [[conflict]], **Source** — [[202303281533 - B - Radical Candor]]