People I’ve managed or coached have often come to me distraught after they gave guidance to somebody who started crying. “What should I have done differently?” they ask. Maybe they handled the situation perfectly. J**ust because somebody is crying or yelling doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong**; it just means they are upset. If you feel guilty about the fact that they are upset, you’re more likely to have a defensive reaction than a compassionate one. Your defensive reaction can lead you, in turn, to unintentionally patronizing or cold behavior. **People spend a huge portion of their lives at work. They generally care about their work. Of course they get upset when things go wrong.** When somebody is upset, it’s not necessarily your fault. Their upset may have nothing to do with you. Focus on them, not on yourself. --- **Tags** — [[quotes]], [[challenging-others]], [[culture]], [[crucial-conversations]], [[emotions]] **Source** — [[202303281533 - B - Radical Candor]]