"**When you notice anxiety, pause and ask yourself: are you anxious about what is true, what is meaningful, or what is useful? Ask the other party the same question**. Do they give the same answer or something different? Narrate out loud what each of you is anxious about (this buys more time and slows things down). Reiterate how each of you answered the question to see if that leads to new connections for yourself or the other person. Check to see if either of you is willing to switch to what the other is anxious about. Who has more cognitive dissonance happening and could use the other’s help?" (~[Location 604](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B081J97HLQ&location=604)~) -- [[202308181107 — AtN — Staying calm within disagreements can be a superpower]] and [[202308170954 — AtN — Productive disagreement can be a superpower]] and [[202308180914 — AtN — Asking questions can be a superpower]] *** **Tags** — [[quotes]], [[mindfulness]], [[anxiety]], [[self-reflection]], [[conflict]], [[asking-questions]], **Source** — [[202308170952 — B — Why Are We Yelling]]