“I pitched a friend on this approach after he told me, “I want to cut back on my drinking, so I’m giving up drinking for a month. As a reward, I’ll buy myself an iPad.” “Can I suggest thinking about it in a different way if you want to change your habits for the long run?” I asked. “Sure.” “If you quit drinking, you’ll save money, right?” “Absolutely. I spend a ton at restaurants and bars.” “So, a natural consequence of not drinking is that you’ll have more spare cash. You can choose to spend the money on an iPad, or whatever. **Getting the iPad isn’t a reward for not drinking; it’s a natural consequence of giving up drinking and having that money**.” “I don’t get what you mean.” “Say you want to start packing lunch for work. Instead of thinking, ’As a reward for preparing and bringing in my own lunch, I’ll splurge on a lunch at an expensive restaurant on Friday,’ you think, ‘Now that I’m bringing in lunch every day, I’m going to splurge on a fabulous set of knives, so my habit of cooking is more fun.’” “What’s the difference?” “**A ‘reward’ changes your attitude toward a behavior. At some level, it causes you to think ‘I’m not drinking because I want an iPad.’ But if you think ‘I’m not drinking because I want to feel healthier, more energetic, and more in control. Added benefit: I have extra money to buy things I want.’** That’s a different state of mind, and might shift the way you view drinking in the future.” “ --- **Tags** -- [[quotes]], [[intrinsic-motivation]] , [[extrinsic-motivation]] , [[motivation]] , [[incentives]] , [[discipline]] , [[habits]] , [[bad-habits]] **Source** -- [[20240806084000 - B - Better Than Before]]