"Barry thinks that what prevents a lot of young people from developing a serious career interest is unrealistic expectations. **“It’s really the same problem a lot of young people have finding a romantic partner**,” he said. “**They want somebody who’s really attractive and smart and kind and empathetic and thoughtful and funny. Try telling a twenty-one-year-old that you can’t find a person who is absolutely the best in every way. They don’t listen. They’re holding out for perfection**.” “What about your wonderful wife, Myrna?” I asked. "“Oh, she is wonderful. More wonderful than I am, certainly. **But is she perfect? Is she the only person I could have made a happy life with? Am I the only man in the world with whom she could have made a wonderful marriage? I don’t think so**.” "**A related problem**, Barry says, **is the mythology that falling in love with a career should be sudden and swift**: “**There are a lot of things where the subtleties and exhilarations come with sticking with it for a while**, getting elbow-deep into something. A lot of things seem uninteresting and superficial until you start doing them and, after a while, you realize that there are so many facets you didn’t know at the start, and you never can fully solve the problem, or fully understand it, or what have you. Well, that requires that you stick with it.” "After a pause, Barry said, “**Actually, finding a mate is the perfect analogy. Meeting a potential match**—not the one-and-only perfect match, but a promising one—**is only the very beginning**.” --- **Tags** -- [[quotes]], [[relationships]], [[passion]], [[life-advice]], **Source** -- [[20241030 - B - Grit]]