“The only polite thing to do is to **ask them to state your position for you, the position they claim to be challenging**. If they cannot do it satisfactorily, **if they cannot repeat what you have said in their own words, you know that they do not understand**, and you are entirely justified in ignoring their criticisms. They are irrelevant, as all criticism must be that is not based on understanding. When you find the rare person who shows that he understands what you are saying as well as you do, then you can delight in his agreement or be seriously disturbed by his dissent.” ([Location 2111](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B004PYDAPE&location=2111) --- **Tags** -- [[quotes]], [[responding-to-feedback]], [[feedback]], [[conflict]], [[crucial-conversations]], [[listening]], [[not-speaking]], [[reading-books]] **Source** -- [[20250103084100 - B - How to Read a Book]] **See Also** — [[202410130945 - AtN - Embrace opportunities to acknowledge you do not have an opinion]]